Are You a Self-made Failure?

Admitting it may help you become wealthy

Photo by Kind and Curious on Unsplash

We’ve all read stories about people that are considered to be self-made millionaires. Almost anyone that’s built a successful life will consider themselves to be self-made. But have you ever heard anyone describe themselves as a self-made failure?

No, you probably haven’t. Neither have I.

But here’s the thing. In my 20s I was indeed a self-made failure. I didn’t think that at the time, but I do now. The only reason I was a failure is because of the choices I made. There is no one else to blame.

So, why do we all blame others when we fail?

There are a few reasons for this:

  • If we can blame someone or something else, we can avoid having to do any work to improve ourselves.
  • It’s painful to admit that we’re the own authors of our downfall.
  • We simply don’t know any better.

For me, it was that I simply didn’t know any better at the time. I had a weird outlook on life back then.

I managed to, eventually, get my life back on track. It was only further down the line that I started to realize that it was only my own fault that my 20s were a disaster.

I made my choices freely. No one forced me to make those choices.

A few years ago I read the book Extreme Ownership by former Navy SEAL Jocko Willink.

This is the book that clarified my thinking. It resulted in me looking back on my life and taking ownership of the mistakes I made.

It can’t be the case that every successful person is that way through their own efforts, but that those that fail did so because of something someone else did.

If we go through life blaming others for our failures, how will we ever be able to move forward?

Here are some typical excuses I hear.

  • It’s the government’s fault I don’t have a job.
  • It’s my employer’s fault I’m poor because they don’t pay me enough.
  • It’s my parents’ fault that I’m a failure.
  • I was born in the wrong country and that’s to blame for my poverty.
  • I’m the wrong color.
  • I’m the wrong gender.

All of these are just excuses and a way to blame external factors instead of looking a little closer to home to see where the real blame lies.

I’m not saying that where you were born, your color, your gender, your parents, or your government don’t have some influence over events. But if you just blame them, you’ll never be able to fix your problems and build a better life.

I have friends back in my hometown that claim they are poor because there aren’t any opportunities there. Yet I know people that live there that are doing very well. I know others that moved away to find better work, which is also what I did.

These friends simply made bad choices in life. They still make bad choices. Yet they cling to blaming others.

Losing money

Many people lost money recently when the cryptocurrency LUNA crashed. Some people lost millions. Some lost their homes. Many were suicidal. Most blamed others. They still fail to see that they took too much risk.

They probably heard that you shouldn’t risk more than you can afford to lose, but they ignored the advice. They thought of the returns they could potentially make and willingly took the risk. Now they want to blame others because it didn’t work out.

Unless they take a long, hard look at themselves and realize that the mistake was all theirs, they will likely repeat it again. And again.

But the funny thing is that if LUNA had made them millions they’d go around telling everyone how smart they were. It would be their decision that made them rich. But t didn’t work out, so now they want to shift the blame.

We all know people that have a victim mentality. Everything happens to them. It’s always someone else’s fault. They are just helpless bystanders. They will remain that way forever unless they realize that they made the choices and decisions themselves. They make the choice, yet they blame others for their failures.

Even governments do it

This is also true of governments. When times are good, they can’t stop telling all of us how they brought us the good times. When times are bad it’s suddenly someone else’s fault. Oh, it’s the global economy. Oh, it’s those horrible capitalists. Blah, blah, blah.

Take responsibility for your own choices and decisions. Make good ones and you can be a self-made success. Make bad ones and you’ll be a self-made failure, whether you’re willing to admit it or not.

Are you ready to take responsibility for your own life?